Dread vs. Excitement

School starts on Monday, and for the last two weeks, except for earlier this week I have not thought or done anything related to school, and now, though I know I should be planning, am not too keen to start planning or doing anything remotely related to school. So right know I would have to say that Dread is winning by 100 points.

I keep thinking about the last day of school before break, not a moment I am happy to think about but it was a long time coming. Me and my co-teacher had a meeting with the school based problem solving team about coming up with new ideas and plans about how to deal with our two behavior children, and instead of speaking up and explaining my frustration, my beliefs about the needs of these children, I spent most of the meeting in a sea of frustrated tears. (Earlier I had had a wonderful interaction with one of these kids where I got kicked, scratched and almost pushed down the stairs) thankfully my co teacher was there and she was able to relate most of our frustrations, I really don't think that anything was accomplished.

We are going to start on Monday with both of the boys being taken out of the community. They will sit in separate seats and only one will be with the group while the other will get parallel teaching with the teacher who is not teaching the whole group (so there goes our intervention time with the students who are way behind).

I went to school on Tuesday and we re arranged our classroom to help manage these students. We had to get rid of furniture and put it in storage to have more space inside the classroom. And while I understand that there needs are different than those of my other students, I feel that it is completely unfair, the amount of energy, planning, and attention these students require when I have other students who would benefit from more one on one teacher student interactions that will now not be taking place because, on our non teaching day, either my co teacher or I will become a one on one aid for that one student. We are not allowed to walk away from them or let them out of our sight.

I want this school year to be over. 51 teaching days till spring break (3 Weeks!) and 103 days till the end of the school year!